How to get back the upper hand dating

It was on Christmas day, while I was opening presents with my family, that she came clean via text: she was cheating on me.

Predictably, this precipitated an immediate panic attack.

He said “I love you” after only two months, which was earlier than she was willing to reciprocate. It’s weird—you don’t care, you don’t care, and then all of a sudden you care And usually your partner cares too, so it’s fine.

But in this situation, as soon as I cared, he totally checked out.”In other words, Erika had lost the higher ground, and her ego sunk along with it.

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Then, last December, after much deliberation, we decided to be monogamous.Meanwhile, a close girlfriend of mine insists, “It’s always better to be the 10 dating the 7.” Better that your partner worship you, in other words.As it happens, this was my mother’s point of view too.Human psychology is embarrassingly simple that way.And as we get older and enter into more relationships, these tendencies become increasingly transparent, and thus easier to manipulate.In a way, being dominated is what enables them to respect their partner.Sort of like Yves Saint Laurent and his long-term partner, Pierre Bergé.All relationships have a power dynamic, and it’s usually clear who has the reins.When you have control, it’s difficult to imagine it ever being any other way.Whether you’re conscious of it or not, your ego inflates, and it seems almost instinctual to see how much you can get away with.Stupidly, you don’t expect your partner could ever turn the tables on you.

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