If he were lonely and desperate to get married, I’d feel better about your chances, but he’s not.
Give him another month to try harder and if he fails, walk away.
He’ll probably let you go and resume his new life on I had a man write me from whose wife had passed 3 weeks earlier – they had a 38 year marriage – and she died from a recently diagnosed cancer!
Talk about rebound………he started to email me and call several times per day and because I am not the “rebound” girl, I slowed things down and poof!
Factor in the dearth of older men – there are literally 3 times more single women over the age of 65 – and, well, a decent looking widower doesn’t stay available for very long. And if he fails, he risks losing the woman he cares about.
Next, something I know (and have stated repeatedly) about men – of all ages: We do what we want. Which means that even if many widowers throw themselves into new relationships because of their tremendous loneliness, THIS one seems to be functioning more like your basic super-successful middle-aged man. You can give him an extra-wide berth because he’s newly single, but be forewarned: a man who is newly single (and is keeping a little distance) is probably going to want to get a greater sampling of what’s available instead of diving right back into commitment.
How do you know when it is an appropriate time to discuss your concerns?
This can be a very difficult position to be in, but also a very loving and rewarding relationship.
My question is this – does this apply to widowers as well or is it fair to give him a little more time and just get busy with other things so I don’t put pressure on him?
I want to see more of him at this point (3 months,) especially on Saturday nights.
I made that need known last weekend in a calm, rational way.
The key to discussing any issues regarding a deceased spouse when dating a widow or widower is to be thoughtful.
Try to tackle one issue at a time, and do so with tact and understanding.